1st Post!

Hello there and Welcome to my brand spanking new blog which will revolve around my journey through infertility. I decided awhile back to start this blog as an outlet, which I really needed. I mean there is only so much yoga I can do! LOL. My husband and I have been going through the rollercoaster of infertility for almost two years now. I tell ya, I kind of always thought this would happen- that I would have a hard time conceiving. I don't know how to explain it, it was just always something back in my brain that told me that I would have a hard time getting pregnant. Now, did I know that I would have SUCH a hard time? Absolutely not. To this day, a year and a half later, I still cannot believe this is where I am in life. I could have two kids in the time I have been trying!

I have always wanted to be a mom. I have always been very good with babies and kids and I just KNEW that I would be so good at it. At 30, a LOT of my friends have become mothers, and I would be lying if I said this didn't hurt me. I am SO happy for them, but every pregnancy announcement just reminds me of my inability to get pregnant and it kills me. My poor husband, every time we get a new pregnancy announcement I cry and cry in his arms asking, "why is this happening to us?" he is so supportive and loving, he is a steady rock during this process. He tells me our time will come every single time I have a meltdown- and I have them frequently.

I've never been a "closed book" type of girl. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I let pretty much everyone know the struggle we are going through. I do have some friends who don't ask me what is going on in our journey. I know they think it will just make me upset, But honestly I like talking it out with my friends and my family because I like to have their support, it means a lot to me. I don't know how some go through this journey not telling anyone- it is hard enough!



So with ALL that said...here is our Infertility Timeline:

September 2012: Stop taking birth control

January 2013: Actively start trying to get pregnant- mostly regular 28-29 day periods, and positive opk's (ovulation prediction kit) each month

August 2013: I get impatient. Go to a OBGYN I have not seen before, tell her I have been TTC (trying to conceive) for 8 months. She blows me off and tells me to come back after a year. Uh...NO

September 2013: Go to another new OBGYN, lie and say I have been TTC one year. She immediately prescribes 50 mg of Clomid

Resulting in BFN (BIG FAT negative)

October 2013: 100 mg clomid - BFN

November 2013: 100mg clomid- BFN

December 2013: HSG (test to check tubes for blockages) and sperm analysis ordered

January 2014: officially been trying one year. HSG showed one tube open, and other tube open but "slightly dilated" Matt's test came back perfect (Yay!) OBGYN refers us to fertility clinic. We are pretty devastated.

Februarys 2014: Break. We travel and try and forget whats happening. we get our call for a consult from the clinic, but we cant even get in until April

March 2014: Break

April 2014: FINALLY get our appointment with our RE (reproductive endocrinologist) Dr. M who tells us after looking at my HSG results that we should get to surgery ASAP to find out what the issue is with my left fallopian tube. Surgery is called a laparoscopy and is outpatient, which is good news. Bad news is its expensive (just the beginning...)

May 2014: I have the Laparoscopy, and Dr M finds a Hydrosalpinx. To break it down: it was swollen and full of fluid. Unable to be repaired. Dr. M removed left tube. Right tube was held down by scar tissue which he was able to fix. I wake up and Matt tells me the results. I am so sad, but happy that Dr. M found the reason why we were not getting pregnant. I feel like maybe this is going to happen!

June 2014: break, we are unable to TTC due to dr's orders

July 2014: Dr M suggests we proceed slow. Start doing Timed Intercourse with clomid. We are to be monitored by ultrasound to see if I am producing an egg on my right side, since if I only produce on the left my chance of getting pregnant is less than 10%. Dr. prescribes 100 mg Clomid, two weeks later my ultrasound shows I am ovulating on my left side :( Cycle is cancelled.

August 2014: Clomid 100mg prescribed again. First time ever no positive OPK! WTF. Ultrasound shows Clomid basically caused me to NOT ovulate. I am so angry. Dr M says enough with clomid. Lets move to mixed cycle of Femara (pills) and Gonal F (injections) and IUI. Matt and I are nervous about the costs, but really happy this is moving along!

September 2014: First IUI! While I didn't respond to clomid very well, I responded to injections VERY WELL. I produced 5 eggs on the side with my tube! Dr M will not allow me to keep all eggs bc he is worried about multiples. After pleading on my side, he allows me to keep 3, but I have to have the other two "aspirated" on the day of my IUI. Matts count is amazing, we have our IUI!

B.F.N.

October 2014: 2nd IUI....BFN (starting to freak out...)

November 2014: IUI In Progress...stay tuned!